Obviously, these verses are packed with application, but I think the one that might be most misunderstood is the second requirement: forsaking ourselves. The phraseology can be varied: self-denial, self-abandonment, self-sacrifice, dying to self. One sure thing is that the concept of self abandonment in Scripture is directly opposed to what the world touts: self-fulfillment, self-esteem, self-worth, rights. Unfortunately, the church of Jesus Christ has, too often, been influenced by the world’s self-esteem philosophy.

I am reminded of this when I notice that some hymns have been changed to make them less – well, harsh. Take for example the hymn, At the Cross. When Isaac Watts penned those words in1885, he wrote, "Would He devote that sacred head, For such a worm as I?" That’s how I learned the song as a child, and I understood what it meant. However, newer hymnals say, "For such a sinner as I?" (Some even say, "such a one as I.") Sinner isn’t great, but it does sound a little less demeaning than worm. Isaac Watts wrote the word "worm" because He understood his place before a Holy God.

St. Theresa wrote, "As a soul progresses toward God, there comes a time when the sense of its own sin, as set against the majesty and purity and love of God, becomes an unbearable burden. It is just that awareness, the fruit of many prayers and many trials, that we need above all in the world today."

If we are going to be mature believers, we must have a clear understanding of who we are in light of Christ. If I do not have an awareness of my own "worminess," I cannot fully comprehend the awesome love of Christ and His redemptive work on the cross. It is that very redemptive work that makes it a privilege to be wholly abandoned to God, with no thought for myself or my needs. Amy Carmichael called it, "a chance to die."

I am very thankful for spiritual mentors like Elisabeth Elliot, who has had a tremendous influence on my life. One of the things I appreciate is that she never waters down the message of dying to one’s self, of giving up all rights in deference to Jesus Christ and His will. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is this dying to self. It is a daily process, because I am constantly confronted with the choice of whether or not to hold on to hurts, harbor bitterness, feel resentful, demand my own way, fret, worry, complain, the list could go on and on. Dying to self means giving up how I think things ought to be. Dying to self means being content in whatever circumstances I find myself, and being confident that "all things work together for good." (Romans 8:28)

One of the most precious gifts God has given believers is the sweet fellowship we should have with one another. We are to be real with one another, holding each other accountable, sharing hurts and joys, giving grace to one another. However, many Christians lack these vital relationships with one another. Some Christians seem to have the attitude of: I’m not a bad person, I don’t kill, steal, or commit adultery. But do we hold grudges? Do we feel resentful? Is bitterness eating us up? These too, indicate blatant disobedience to God. It is no wonder we hate to risk "being real" when there is a possibility of messing up and having a Christian brother and sister never speak to us again.

The fact is that we are human. We don’t always use the best judgement. We don’t always present things in ways that are understood. But we must give grace to one another, forgive, and restore relationships. If we cannot do this, the world will scoff, rightly so, at our hypocrisy.

Elisabeth Elliot gives the Biblical example of dying to self in dealing with hurt feelings:

1. Give and receive grace.

2. Acknowledge the wrong. Make sure your judgement is based on the Word.

3. Lay down all rights. Forgiveness is the unconditional laying down of the self. (1 Corinthians 6) This includes the desire for vindication, pleasure at the other person’s humiliation, keeping accounts of evil, the right to an apology, and bringing every thought under obedience to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

4. What to do for the one who has wronged you:

• If he asks for forgiveness, forgive.

• If he doesn’t, forgive in a private transaction with God.

• Pray for him.

• Confess (anger, hatred, desire for revenge, self-pity.)

• Bless the one who hurt you. Forgive him and bless him! Ask for grace to treat him as if nothing has ever come between you and stand with Christ for him. (Psalm 119:78)

Wow, that’s a tall order! But to do anything less is to be disobedient to Christ, and will only lead to our own misery and stagnation. Our obedience will not only benefit us, it will also benefit those who have hurt us. We need to give grace to one another. None of us are perfect and if we have the close relationships with one another that God calls us to, we will have misunderstandings, we will have failures, we will mess up. But incredibly God can use all of these to help us grow, if we respond to them in a proper way. "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)

If we are not careful, our feelings or emotions can stand in the way of our obedience. In forsaking myself, I must also die to my emotions and feelings. That is not to deny they exist, they are God-given, but we must resist the temptation to be ruled by them. Elisabeth Elliot says of emotions, "The discipline of emotions is the training of responses . . . When, in the face of powerful temptation to do wrong, there is the swift, hard renunciation – I will not – it will be followed by the sudden loosening of the bonds of self, the yes to God that lets in sunlight, sets us singing and all freedom’s bells clanging for joy."

I am reminded of a story that Corrie ten Boom related. (Another hero of mine.) Years after she was out of Nazi concentration camps, she was speaking to a large group. Afterward, a man came up to her, reached out for her hand, and asked her to forgive him. She recognized him as one of the guards in the concentration camp where she and her family had been sent because they had hidden Jews in their home – where her sister had died. Corrie confessed that the last thing she wanted to do was grasp that man’s hand. She felt contempt and bitterness. But this godly woman also knew Jesus’ command to forgive, not if we feel like it, not when we are ready, but to forgive, period. Corrie ten Boom reached out in faith and took that former Nazi guard’s hand. With that act of obedience, the feelings came. It is not until we make a commitment to stop the temptation in its tracks, of letting emotions rule, and say yes to God’s way, that we can truly experience His freedom.

"Take, O Lord, all my liberty. Receive my memory, my understanding, and my will. You have given me all that I am and all that I possess. I return it to You and surrender it to the guidance of Your will. Give me only Your love and grace. With these I am rich enough and ask nothing more. Amen." - St. Ignatius of Loyola

I try to put into practice the Biblical steps of reacting obediently when someone has hurt or misunderstood me. It is never easy. But it is right and it is, indeed, freeing. I have no misconceptions about myself, I am a worm indeed. I know what I am without a Savior. Praise God this worm has been redeemed by the Grace of God! I can be all He wants me to be if I only trust and obey.